The Job Search Mindset Shift

In the present day’s episode is one thing that’s exhausting to speak about, however crucial: the emotional aspect of job looking out. The half that occurs after the rejection e-mail, after the interview that didn’t go effectively, after the restructure dialog, after the redundancy assembly, and after months of making use of for roles and listening to nothing again, being informed that you’re overqualified.

Being informed that you’re not fairly proper for the function. Being informed nothing in any respect. As a result of job looking out isn’t solely a tactical course of, IT’s not solely about your CV, your LinkedIn profile, your interview method or networking technique. IT’s a psychological recreation. And in case your mindset collapses throughout that job search, your technique usually collapses with IT. Are you prepared for this dialog? Let’s go.

I wish to begin with a narrative. I used to be talking with my father after we watched the ⁓ Roland Garros match with Arina Sabalenka. If you’re watching this a lot later, this occurred in June 2026. And he or she misplaced a match that many individuals anticipated her to win. And after the match, she was visibly devastated. And that is how IT

occurred after shedding that match at Roland Garros 2026 quarterfinals to someone that was not as effectively certified as she is, ⁓ Diana Schneider, she’s quantity 25, Sabalenka stated she felt like she needed to stop tennis.

Reuters described her efficiency on court docket as a psychological collapse as a result of she had been main earlier than shedding the sport, and her response throughout that post-match interview was human, proper? IT was uncooked, IT was emotional.

And IT was the form of second that I believe a lot of you relate, however you don’t often see from elite athletes, as a result of we anticipate them to be composed in these interviews. We anticipate them to be resilient, to say sleek issues and analyze shortly and reset and transfer on. That’s what we anticipate from these interviews. However in fact, these individuals are human identical to you and me. And my father stated one thing that I believed was actually insightful. He stated,

She has the genetics of a wonderful tennis participant. She has the power and the abilities, however in moments like this, what will get examined is the mindset, and she or he wants a greater coach. I liked IT as a result of, in fact, my dad is aware of I’m a coach, and IT was form of a bonding second for me at the very least, and

I felt like that was an acknowledgement that he understands the worth of my work and IT felt actually good. And I thought of that for a couple of days and determined to document this episode as a result of I see this in my work every single day. Not with tennis gamers, ⁓ however with job seekers, with executives, senior managers, individuals identical to you who’re listening to the podcast, you recognize, individuals who has lots of expertise. And after they begin working with me.

They’re, in fact, extraordinarily good, skilled, succesful, effectively certified, and completed. They’ve led groups, they’ve managed budgets, introduced to boards and and their friends, labored by way of disaster and delivered very profitable initiatives. And but, but, after they job search, IT turns into actually tough. They will fall into the identical emotional entice as Sabalenka.

They begin to query every thing, they query their worth, they query their expertise, their capability to maneuver ahead and get one other job. They query whether or not they’re too previous, ⁓ too senior, too costly for the job market, too area of interest, or an excessive amount of of a generalist.

Is IT too late? ⁓ am I too drained for this? Am I behind? all of these questions are quite common initially of a training ⁓ dialog. And in these moments.

The chance isn’t solely that they really feel unhealthy about what’s occurring with with them, the chance is that they make selections from that place, from that mindset. In the event that they apply for roles that they don’t need, you recognize, in the event that they withdraw from alternatives too early, if they begin sending reactive messages to their connections or over explaining what occurred to their careers.

A few of them have stopped networking.

Proper, you might relate to all of this, ⁓ rewriting your CV or your resume a number of occasions attempting to get IT proper, and convincing themselves that one rejection means one thing is everlasting, completely mistaken with them. They flip a nasty week right into a profession verdict. And because of this mindset issues, as a result of your emotional response could also be legitimate and human, however IT doesn’t should be

Your technique. That’s the thought I wish to discover in at the moment’s episode. I wish to discuss in regards to the moments the place job seekers transfer from confidence to panic and what must occur to convey them again right into a extra strategic tactical mindset. And I’m going to share

Anonymized examples from my teaching work as a result of these patterns come up repeatedly with totally different purchasers in numerous sectors in numerous components of the world, as a result of I coach individuals ⁓ worldwide, totally different ranges of seniority as effectively. However usually the identical emotional course of throughout the job search.

The consumer often seeks out teaching as a final resort, which I don’t suggest and I want they wouldn’t, however alas, IT’s what often occurs. They arrive to me often in a state of stress and disappointment and concern and exhaustion after, you recognize, an extended search than they had been envisioning, after which they determine that they, you recognize, the teaching will will help them and assist them. And the teaching work is to assist them transfer on from

What does this imply about me? You understand, what’s occurring? To ⁓ you recognize, what to what do I do subsequent? You understand, that shift sounds easy, however in a job search IT can change every thing.

So let’s begin with redundancy. I’ve labored with purchasers who’ve been made redundant after a few years in the identical group, generally 10, 15, 20 years.

And when that occurs, the primary response isn’t strategic. IT’s often actually emotional. In fact IT is. I’ve been there too. I bear in mind how emotional I grew to become. When your skilled identification that has been connected to the group you’re employed for is is lower.

Redundancy can really feel actually deeply private, even when you recognize intellectually that IT is a enterprise choice, even when you recognize that the group is restructuring, even when you recognize that different different individuals have been affected by this as effectively, you’ll be able to nonetheless really feel like a rejection about you, about your contribution or your loyalty, your relevance to the group, and your future.

And in that emotional state, individuals usually wish to resolve issues instantly. They wish to repair their CV, replace their LinkedIn, apply for Jobs, name recruiters, clarify what occurred, and make that concern go away by hopefully getting one thing actually shortly instantly afterwards. However generally the primary job

after a dialog like that isn’t to behave in any respect. The primary job is to stabilize, stabilize your feelings. As a result of when you act from that panic mode, your selections might grow to be scattered. You could apply for the mistaken roles.

you might undersell your self or over clarify the redundancy without having to. You could rush right into a job that isn’t best for you. And so in these circumstances the work begins with separating the emotion out of your subsequent choice. Sure IT hurts. Sure is destabilizing and and this may occasionally convey up some concern and I I anticipate that that that can occur.

And and that’s all true, however what must occur subsequent in your profession? What do we have to defend your profession? What do we have to negotiate as you exit the group? And what does the market want to know about you? What’s the story that we wish to inform them? That’s the shift.

Why is that this taking place to me? what do I have to do subsequent? Proper? Might be sources of negativity and grief. And grieving that loss is essential, however you continue to have to act strategically as you progress ahead. So these issues can exist on the similar time and they’ll in all probability exist on the similar time throughout a job search.

One other sample that I see is the consumer who has had a tough dialog at work after which spiral afterwards. This may occur throughout a restructure or after a efficiency dialog, after a disagreement with a supervisor, after being provided a job they they don’t need.

I’ve had purchasers come to me after one dialog and say, I believe I’ve ruined every thing. I shouldn’t have stated that. What in the event that they suppose I’m tough? What if I’ve broken a relationship? Perhaps I’ve no choices now. And by the point we converse, they’ve replayed that dialog of their minds so many occasions.

th that we have to kind of pause that, proper? We have to to kind of cease the rumination. Once you really feel that your future is unsure, your mind needs to regain management by replaying that second. However replaying isn’t strategic. Sooner or later we have to cease analyzing the emotional discomfort and begin asking higher questions. That’s when you recognize having a mentor or

coach can actually actually assist what really occurred okay let’s suppose extra objectively about what really occurred what do we all know for positive what are we assuming individuals are pondering or and what’s nonetheless inside your management ⁓ do that you must make clear something with anyone does a follow-up message must be despatched proper and what’s the tone

How how will we wish to come throughout? What choices do we have to maintain open?

Since you can’t all the time undo a dialog, however you’ll be able to resolve what your subsequent transfer communicates, proper? In order that’s usually the place your energy is. Not in attempting to erase what occurs that’s out of your management, however in responding any further with readability, professionalism, and intention. That’s what strikes somebody from emotional disaster to a tactical motion.

The third instance is rejection. After a excessive stakes alternative

I’ve labored with purchasers, this is quite common, who’ve reached the ultimate phases for very senior roles. We’re speaking C stage, govt roles, board roles, roles that they care deeply about, that they had been ready for, that they’ve researched and, you recognize, actually invested of their interview course of. They think about themselves within the job. It’s important to try this to really be good at your interview.

They informed a couple of individuals they trusted, you recognize, that they had been making use of for the function. So that they had been actually invested emotionally after which they didn’t get the job. That form of rejection hits actually exhausting. I bear in mind, I’ve been there too. As a result of at that stage, IT’s not simply in regards to the job. IT can really feel like a judgment in your management, in your profession, in your repute, your age, your relevance.

And that is the place the story individuals inform themselves turns into crucial. Proper? So you’ll be able to inform the story that you just failed, I failed, proper? Or you’ll be able to inform the story that you just reached the ultimate stage of a really vital function and now I have to study from this course of.

These are two tales created by very totally different behaviors and mindsets. The primary one results in disgrace, to withdrawal, to anger, and the second results in reflection and refinement and steady enchancment. And I’m not saying the frustration will disappear when you go for the second. IT doesn’t, IT will nonetheless harm.

However rejection at senior ranges isn’t all the time proof that you just carried out badly. Generally there was an inner candidate. Generally the board needed a unique profile. Generally the group modified instructions as soon as they began interviewing individuals. And the chemistry wasn’t proper, which occurs.

⁓ one other candidate had a particular piece of expertise that was extremely valued by the group. Or the method was flawed, proper? Biased and and that you just can’t management that. You didn’t interview in addition to you may have. Generally IT occurs, you recognize, one thing occurred throughout the course of.

⁓ of recruitment, possibly one thing private, one thing per one thing you recognize exterior of of your management, however nonetheless IT ⁓ modified your capability to carry out effectively within the interview. And if that was the case, we study from IT, however we don’t flip one consequence right into a veredict of your whole profession. That’s the place I usually intervene as a coach with my purchasers, and I would like them to ask.

about what that course of revealed. What what was the positioning best for you? Was the examples you used robust sufficient? Often I ask my purchasers to return with detailed Information about what occurred within the room. I requested them to sit down down and write every thing down in order that when we now have our session publish interview we are able to undergo the interview course of, you recognize, in intimately.

in the identical method a tennis coach would undergo a tennis match analyzing each transfer and each element. That’s the way you grow to be higher at what you do. I defined to my consumer this week that she’s already eighty p.c there. The twenty p.c to get you to the highest of a recruitment course of requires

⁓ subtle tweaks in her technique, proper? So these interventions and people conversations with coaches are what can actually assist obtain that that profitable consequence. Questions like did the interview solutions that you just gave confirmed the suitable stage of management? Did the consumer talk influence or simply expertise?

was the function really aligned along with your your background? Ought to we proceed pursuing one of these alternative or ought to we transfer to a unique kind of business, sector, ⁓ and place?

What must be sharper subsequent time. That’s how we do steady enchancment in job search. That’s the way you flip rejection into information. Not since you are pretending to not care, however as a result of caring with out reflection can grow to be that destructive rumination. And rumination doesn’t transfer your profession ahead.

The fourth instance I wish to talk about is efficiency administration or a proper suggestions that you could have acquired. This is without doubt one of the most emotionally loaded conditions knowledgeable can face. I do know that for me that has all the time been

fairly tough to swallow as a result of IT usually touches, you recognize, repute, identification, equity, energy and concern. And in addition as a result of many individuals don’t know find out how to present suggestions and handle that dialog effectively.

As a supervisor, I do know that that’s one thing that I attempted actually exhausting to do for my my staff. A consumer might come to a training session with me after receiving ⁓ a destructive or constructive suggestions from their supervisor or their group they usually actually really feel misunderstood, focused, embarrassed, offended generally, ⁓ and even ashamed.

And they’re afraid that their profession is being broken in actual time, proper? IT’s exhausting for them to maneuver ahead from that dialog.

⁓ there’s this sense more often than not that that you must shortly resolve IT, you recognize, sending a an an e-mail and gathering proof or difficult each level made. Generally the method is unfair. Okay? Generally the suggestions is poorly given or poorly framed. Generally the group doesn’t actually get what you’re attempting to attain or do. And

Generally there’s politics concerned as effectively. However even then, the primary transfer can’t be panic. The primary transfer must be readability. What precisely has been stated? What’s the proof? What’s the opinion? What’s being formally requested from you? Okay. What does the group anticipate from you now? What ought to be documented? That is actually essential.

Is there something that you just actually really feel that you must problem? Or ought to we transfer to just accept IT? Proper? do we want authorized or HR recommendation? Generally we have to go there. And the place is the skilled threat? The place is the chance to reset?

So these are conversations that we now have in in in a training session and and when individuals really feel attacked they usually wish to reply from that nervous system, however efficiency conditions require self-discipline and IT’s often a marathon, not a dash, the the way in which that you just return to

To addressing IT in making a course of that strikes you from a state of affairs like that to ⁓ a state of affairs extra below your management. IT requires cautious communication. IT requires function readability. IT requires understanding when to talk and when to pause. And

Generally getting ready an exit technique whereas nonetheless performing professionally on the group. And that isn’t straightforward. However IT’s essential. As a result of when you find yourself below strain at work, your subsequent communication actually does matter. The tone, the proof, timing, your capability to self-regulate might have an effect on the end result of the state of affairs.

The following instance, and the most typical for me as a profession coach, is the lengthy job search. This is without doubt one of the hardest conditions as a result of IT actually wears individuals down, and I’m seeing lots of IT, particularly ⁓ prior to now couple of years. Initially, a job seeker feels very optimistic, they replace their resumes, they apply for roles, they converse to individuals, they inform their community, they usually suppose IT will take a couple of months. And generally IT does.

However most occasions IT takes longer, proper? We’re often optimistic about the timeframe of our job search. And for my kind of purchasers, often they’re very skilled, you recognize, of their forties, fifties, and sixties, that often takes longer. As a result of in the event that they’re in a managerial place or an govt place, the upper up you might be within the

Pyramid of a company, the much less roles IT exit is is within the group obtainable to you, and the turnover is often not that nice, particularly when the job market is tight. So we’re speaking right here about longer, longer job searches, six months, 9 months, twelve months, or extra. They’re frequent as of late, they usually have been frequent for some time, particularly for executives. And after some time,

the emotional weight turns into actually excessive and actually heavy. An individual can begin to really feel invisible, proper? As a result of they’ve have been out of the office for for fairly a while. And so they begin to marvel if anybody is definitely being attentive to them, studying their job purposes. They begin to examine themselves with others rather a lot, particularly on this linked in age, they usually begin to really feel embarrassed, proper? And in addition one factor that basically

impacts individuals in fact is the monetary strain. So that basically impacts confidence and might actually put on individuals down over time. And when a consumer is in that place, I can’t simply inform them to maintain going. That’s not that’s not useful and IT’s not sufficient. ⁓ Hold going

means simply maintain repeating what you’re doing, maintain doing the identical course of and you recognize, there’s one thing there that as a coach I would like to assist them ⁓ undo. You understand, there’s a bottleneck someplace there. ⁓ as a result of although IT is a protracted search and IT is tougher to get a job, as I defined, some individuals are getting Jobs, proper? So we have to discover out what IT is that we have to do to be high tier as a candidate.

In a protracted job search, the essential factor we have to do is diagnose the system that you’re utilizing. The place is your bottleneck? Is the consumer, you recognize, my consumer making use of for the suitable roles? Is the place clear? Is the CV robust sufficient? And the LinkedIn profile, is IT supporting that job search?

Are they relying an excessive amount of on marketed roles and never sufficient in networking? Are they talking to the suitable recruiters? You understand, are they recruiters that may really assist them? Or are they talking to recruiters in any respect? You understand, many individuals aren’t even ready to try this. Activating the suitable networks. possibly they’re getting interviews, however then they’re not changing to job gives. So

we have to kind of look into that. ⁓ are they avoiding conversations? Some individuals have a tendency to try this after some time. or concentrating on a market that’s too huge or generally too slender. And being exhausted they is likely to be sending low high quality job purposes and that’s an actual subject as effectively.

So sure, we’re taking a look at that job search technique and the way sustainable IT is. That is the place emotional help and technique should work collectively as a result of a protracted job search impacts individuals’s confidence and confidence impacts individuals’s habits, and habits impacts consequence. Final result comes from habits. When someone is exhausted, they will not be you recognize

as assured and and behaving in addition to they need to be ⁓ to compete in a really ⁓ tight market. ⁓ and that may be a downside. You understand, going for a job interview sounding flat is an enormous subject and quite common, you recognize, in a protracted

job search course of. They they might begin making use of to something, proper? And so they might lose their capability to clarify themselves clearly as a result of they’re kind of redoing their pitch again and again they usually might grow to be much less tactical. And I’m speaking from expertise from my purchasers, I hope that

that’s resonating with the podcast viewers. I might love to listen to again from you. When you get my e-newsletter and and ⁓ you may reply again to me and say, wow sure, that basically resonated with me, that may be improbable as a result of I I often see my clientele as a small, like a pocket of, you recognize, the broader viewers for this podcast.

So, you recognize, for a lot of professionals, sure, IT is a protracted job search marketing campaign and and lengthy job search campaigns as with every lengthy marketing campaign of any form, ⁓ any undertaking, IT requires pacing. IT requires taking break day and IT requires resetting every so often.

Now let’s discuss a profession change. That is the place purchasers begin to think about a unique form of skilled life for themselves. Generally IT occurs throughout the teaching course of after they begin working with me after which they notice that what they actually wish to do is one thing totally different. Generally they arrive to me as a result of they already know they wish to do a profession change.

Perhaps they wish to do consulting, possibly IT’s a portfolio profession or board roles or fractional work, or they wish to transfer sectors and nations or need extra flexibility, work remotely. There’s so many alternative the reason why someone may kind of come to work with me.

And infrequently there’s a pressure there as a result of in a single aspect they they need one thing new and on the opposite aspect there’s safety in what they’re at the moment doing. So for instance, they like the thought of consulting however they’re frightened by n not with the ability to do consumer acquisition, for instance. They like the thought of portfolio work, however they fear in regards to the inconsistent revenue.

board roles, you recognize, as a result of I work with lots of skilled individuals, many individuals suppose that board roles are a good way to kind of ⁓ transfer as they become older and begin kind of contemplating pre-retirement alternatives, however they don’t seem to be positive find out how to place themselves to get these roles. And

The change may have an effect on their establishment, proper? If they need one thing new, they could kind of have to maneuver out of their present community, and and that’s one thing that may be fairly a a supply of tension for for a lot of of my purchasers. And that is the place, once more, mindset issues as a result of a profession pivot shouldn’t be handled as a a fantasy. IT ought to be handled

as one thing that you just design and experiment with. You don’t want to explode your profession to discover a brand new path, proper? There’s alternative. More often than not there’s alternative to check.

to do analysis, to have conversations, to map your transferable worth and perceive this new market with the intention to determine the dangers and and construct, you recognize, ⁓ a technique that

Is strengthened by that positioning. So you’ll be able to resolve the kind of monetary runway that you just want in begin exploring, let’s say, advisory work or consulting work or contract work. And the query often doesn’t must be ought to I leap from one to the opposite, however what experiment would assist me study whether or not this can be a viable path?

Proper? That’s a a lot calmer method of doing a profession transition and one which I often ⁓ like to debate with my purchasers. IT offers the mind one thing sensible to work with. ⁓ some individuals name IT a aspect hustle or a undertaking or perhaps a pastime. And for skilled professionals.

That is actually essential as a result of by mid-career and past, you might not wish to do many random strikes anymore. You could wish to have extra certainty about your subsequent chapter and be extra intentional.

And that intention requires Information. And Information comes from from taking motion. You understand, IT doesn’t must be an enormous one. IT might be small strategic actions that aren’t panic pushed, that aren’t romanticized. yeah, I believe that that’s crucial factor to think about when doing a profession change.

And this brings me again to the tennis story from the start. When an elite athlete loses, particularly in high-pressure matches just like the Roland Garros the technical expertise is barely a part of the story. The coaching issues, expertise issues, the psychological reset issues. And

They will return to coaching and analyze what occurred and recuperate and separate one loss from their identification. They will face the subsequent match as they usually do with that mindset. And the identical is true for job search. You have got the expertise, you will have the abilities, you will have the {qualifications}, you will have nice background. But when each setback in a job search sends you into an emotional collapse,

then the job search turns into a lot tougher to do ⁓ and far tougher than IT must be. Okay? Sure, you’re human.

And job search is without doubt one of the few skilled experiences the place individuals are repeatedly judged, rejected, ignored, in contrast, and so forth. That could be very emotionally demanding. And the reply is to not faux IT doesn’t harm. The reply is to construct a course of that helps you recuperate sooner from the harm. You want individuals round you who might help you suppose clearly, who can

Assist your routine and help your vitality. You want a technique that isn’t dependent in your temper. That’s essential. And that you must know when to pause and when to behave and separate your worth from the outcomes of this course of.

And like my dad stated, you might want a coach or a greater coach. And I’d be blissful to have a discovery name with you so you’ll be able to assess if I’m the kind of coach you want. Yow will discover out extra about reserving a training introductory session with me and all of my different profession companies and programs on my web site.

My web site is renatabernarde dot com. That’s r-e-n a t a b e r n a r d e dot com.

As a result of look, your profession is simply too invaluable to be directed by one unhealthy day, one unhealthy interview, one unhealthy assembly, or a disappointing rejection e-mail. You want a mindset that may maintain that disappointment with out shedding your technique. That’s the work. So

Right here’s what I would like you to remove from at the moment’s episode. When one thing tough occurs in your job search, don’t instantly ask what does this say about me. Don’t try this. Ask what does this inform me? Then ask, what do I do subsequent? That’s the shift from identification to Information, from panic to technique, from response to

to response. And when you want a easy phrase to remake to recollect this, let IT be your emotional response could also be legitimate, however IT doesn’t should be your technique.

And thanks a lot for listening to the Job Searching Podcast. This episode was an essential one for me. I hope IT resonated with you. Yow will discover extra assets, teaching choices, and profession help.

at RenataBernarde.com so please go there and examine IT out. And if you recognize somebody who’s in the midst of a tough job search, ship them this episode. IT might assist them as effectively. They me they might want a reminder from you that setbacks don’t outline individuals. I’ll see you subsequent time. Bye.