The right way to Construct Govt Presence in Interviews and Displays

Renata Bernarde (00:46)
let me begin from the purpose once we first met, as a result of we met once I went into that workshop organized by Charlotte, and I can put a hyperlink under if anyone’s in Melbourne and needs to attach with different.

Ashleigh Paholek (00:52)
Hmm.

Renata Bernarde (00:57)
those that wish to develop on social media. That’s a terrific ⁓ little group of girls to be concerned in. And you probably did a presentation about speaking in public and talking in public. And I believed that was good and so consistent with the viewers that I’ve, regardless that IT’s a totally totally different viewers from the workshop. We’re speaking right here about individuals of their forties and fifties and sixties who abruptly get elevated right into a extra ⁓ senior position.

Ashleigh Paholek (01:15)
Yeah.

Renata Bernarde (01:27)
abruptly they’re having to go to Canberra to speak to politicians. They’re managing tons of of workers. They must be up on stage to ship experiences or be in entrance of a bizarre wanting board to be chosen for a job. And choice processes are often now for senior executives and senior professionals. IT’s about presenting, so it’s a must to…

Ashleigh Paholek (01:44)
Sure.

Hmm.

Renata Bernarde (01:56)
deliver a presentation and I actually needed to have your say right here and your experience. And I hope that a few of the individuals would find yourself, you understand, working with you as nicely, as a result of there are some issues that I can ship as a coach, however you understand, your experience is a bit bit kind of extra area of interest and totally different precisely. However what drew you to journalism at first and now to serving to professionals with their talking engagements?

Ashleigh Paholek (02:15)
Completely different. Yeah.

IT’s humorous as a result of I really, once I was rising up, didn’t actually care to be a TV journalist. I wasn’t, I wasn’t rising up being like, I wish to be on TV once I develop up. I really needed to be a clothier and I simply didn’t get in to the course that I needed to. So I made a decision to as a substitute, do an arts diploma and I picked the topics that I discovered the simplest. And so all of them simply occurred to be journalism topics. And so the extra I did IT,

the extra I loved IT and that’s kind of how I acquired into IT, form of almost accidentally. However once I was a teen, I did host a journey present that went on TV in Australia and New Zealand. So like wanting again, IT all kind of is sensible. However on the time IT wasn’t pre-planned that I needed to be on tv as a reporter. And I’ve now been within the business for about 10 years. I’ve completed a little bit of all the things from the social media facet of IT. I’ve completed ⁓ reporting.

in addition to producing. IT’s the behind the scenes, placing the bulletin really to air, like all of the technical stuff and serving to kind of form the tales and what really goes to air. However I’m additionally the one who’s out on the streets, who’s in entrance of the digicam, who’s telling the tales as nicely. And I used to be doing that each one all through COVID and on the finish of COVID, I felt actually burnt out. I felt actually burnt out. I didn’t really feel like I had motivation. I simply was missing.

course I really feel like. And so I give up, I give up my job and I really went touring for the 12 months. I went to South America for six months. I did a bit in Africa. went again to Europe. And through that point, I actually was serious about what do I really feel enthusiastic about? What do I really feel purposeful doing? And for me, that was loads of instructing individuals, serving to individuals, ⁓ sharing information, and similar to having these.

in-person interactions. And in order that’s why I like doing that. I like how we met as a result of that’s what I really feel the most effective doing. And IT was humorous as a result of once I was first kind of serious about how I needed to assist individuals or what kind of issues I needed to share, I didn’t understand that not everybody felt snug asking questions, assembly new individuals, talking in entrance of individuals, understanding methods to, you understand,

write what they’re going to say, know what they’re going to say, methods to really current IT. I believed that they had been simply kind of frequent issues that everybody knew methods to do. And so once I realized that that wasn’t one thing that individuals knew methods to do and that I had really spent the previous 10 years doing as a journalist, I used to be like, that is nice as a result of I like, that is what I like doing. And I like serving to different individuals get to that stage as nicely, as a result of IT may be so nerve wracking. may be so scary.

However I feel the most effective factor ⁓ is that IT’s all discovered. IT’s all issues that you would be able to study, apply and grasp. And that’s what makes me so excited to assist individuals have the ability to get their concepts throughout, have the ability to communicate with affect, have the ability to use simply little tweaks of their physique language, of their tone, of their eye contact. IT’s really fairly easy. Every part that I educate is kind of easy. However whenever you put IT all collectively, IT makes such a distinction.

Renata Bernarde (05:47)
Yeah, IT’s fascinating when one thing comes so naturally to you that you simply don’t even see that as a energy or a expertise. And you then immediately understand, ⁓ that is one thing I can do. Possibly I’m a couple of steps forward of different individuals, however I can educate them. In order that’s nice. However you come throughout as someone who has loads of confidence in your self and in the best way that you simply communicate. Have you ever all the time been like that?

Ashleigh Paholek (05:54)
Hmm.

Sure.

After I was a child, I bear in mind in highschool, one in all my associates stated to me like offhandedly, she was like, ⁓ I wish to be as assured as you once I develop up. And I felt like that was wild as a result of I didn’t actually consider myself as a assured particular person. However now I spotted that I like to interrupt confidence up into a few other ways, as a result of whenever you say the phrase confidence or assured, IT can really feel fairly overwhelming. IT’s fairly, ⁓

elusive, like IT’s a really large phrase. And so I like to interrupt IT down into inner confidence and exterior confidence. Inside confidence are issues like your ideas, your beliefs, your patterns. ⁓ And exterior confidence is issues like the way you present up the technique and the way you discuss to individuals asking questions, your physique language, these sorts of issues.

And so once I was youthful, I feel I had a great deal of exterior confidence. , I knew methods to discuss to individuals and present up and have like an vitality of vibe about me, however I wouldn’t essentially say that I felt tremendous assured in myself. And regardless that, you understand, you say that individuals nonetheless say to me, you understand, you come throughout so confidently, however the factor is I’m purposely making you’re feeling that manner as a result of there are positively occasions that I don’t really feel assured.

There are occasions the place I’m a nervous wreck that I’m freaking out, however I understand how to make the opposite particular person consider that I’m assured as a result of I do know all the little methods and the tips to truly do this. And so I’ll let you know a fast story about ⁓ a time just lately when that was the case. So IT was earlier within the 12 months and IT was across the time of the Australian Open. I had completed my story. was working at 10.

And I’d completed my story for the day. I used to be sitting down at my, within the workplace, simply kind of ready for my story to go to air, to test IT and for IT to go to air. And the time I reckon is about 20 previous 4. Our information goes to air at 5pm. And at about 20 previous 4, we’re watching the tennis clearly, and Novak pulls out. He has like a medical one thing and he pulls out. All we see is him stroll off the court docket and all of us begin wanting round.

Shocked. We’re all like, my gosh, that is enormous. Clearly IT’s newsworthy. So everybody’s wanting round, what ought to we do? How ought to we cowl IT? And somebody goes, Ashley’s completed. Let’s ship her right down to Melbourne park. And I used to be like, okay. So I grabbed all my stuff and jumped in an Uber. Bear in mind once more, that the information goes to air at 5 PM and IT is now 4 30 and I’m within the Uber. I’m within the Uber attempting to determine what’s really occurred.

Renata Bernarde (08:33)
you

Ashleigh Paholek (08:59)
as a result of all we all know is that he’s left the court docket and that he’s not coming again, that he’s pulled out. So I’m looking for out as a lot Information as I can as a result of in half an hour I’m going stay on air and I’ve acquired to inform everybody what’s occurring. So I’m looking for out. The Uber driver can also be speaking to me as a result of he’s very . He’s like, you’re going to Melbourne park? I’m like, sure, I’m a reporter. And he’s attempting to interact me in dialog and have enjoyable. However I’m like, I’m so sorry, I’ve set to work.

And so IT takes like 20 minutes to get there. So IT’s now 10 minutes till I’m stay and I’m nonetheless getting Information about what’s really unfolded as a result of Novak is now holding a press convention speaking about why he pulled out. I can’t take heed to IT as a result of I’m attempting to prepare. placing my earpiece in. I’m attempting to nonetheless write notes about what is definitely occurring. I’m attempting to I’m serving to my cameraman deliver all of the gear. , like there’s loads occurring.

And so I’ve acquired a producer or somebody again within the newsroom serving to me by like sending me little bits of Information about what’s occurring within the press convention on the time. And I’m nonetheless attempting to weave IT all collectively. And so IT’s 5 minutes to 5. I’m standing there with my microphone, my earpiece, which connects me to the newsroom and I’ve acquired lights.

I’ve acquired the digicam in entrance of me. IT’s at Melbourne Park. So there’s all these individuals leaving. They’re . They’re coming over and attempting to speak to me. And I’m attempting to determine what I’m going to say. In that second, my thoughts is racing. , after all the adrenaline is pumping, however I’m beginning to freak out a bit bit as a result of I don’t know a ton about tennis. I haven’t actually been following IT.

I don’t know methods to say everybody’s identify as a result of they’ve all acquired totally different bizarre names. And once more, that is kind of unfolding proper as I’m about to speak. So I’m attempting to work out one of the best ways methods to construction IT, methods to really get my factors throughout. So I’m actually nervous. I’m freaking out. And I hear the beginning of the bulletin via my earpiece.

I hear their newsreader start the bulletin. , we start now with some breaking information down at Melbourne Park. Ashley Paholic joins us stay. Ashley, inform us what’s occurring. In that second, IT is make or break. IT is stay tv. So I don’t get a second likelihood. No matter I say goes to air. No matter I don’t say goes to air. So if I freak out and shut down, that’s what goes to air. So I fortunately

get via the cross. However I’ve acquired one other cross in two minutes time to Sydney’s newsroom, to Sydney’s information. And 10 minutes after that, I acquired one other cross to Brisbane. After which 10 minutes after that, I’ve to document for Perth. So IT is all occurring in a short time. Issues are altering. I do know, and you understand, on the opposite facet, although, the people who find themselves watching me, they wouldn’t know.

that I used to be a nervous wreck simply earlier than, that I used to be freaking out, that I ran over to my cameraman, that I used to be nonetheless attempting to work out what to say moments earlier than occurring air. They might have had no concept as a result of I used a few totally different strategies that basically painting confidence to the opposite particular person and instills belief. They usually wouldn’t have identified that, my legs had been shaking a bit bit and that I used to be actually nervous. And people sorts of issues embrace slowing down my voice, making IT barely deeper.

IT consists of having a very stable planted stance. IT consists of utilizing my hand gestures, utilizing eye contact, regardless that IT’s down the barrel of the digicam, that basically helps construct belief and connection. And so these sorts of issues not solely painting confidence to different individuals, however IT additionally made me really feel assured and comfy in what I used to be saying. And I do know that, you understand, lots of people hopefully gained’t must be in that scenario, however IT is a excessive strain.

excessive stakes scenario the place you may’t get IT incorrect. You wish to carry out your finest. You wish to say issues that, you understand, you wish to, you wish to do nicely. And that’s one thing that everybody feels. Everybody has felt that everybody can take these kind of classes and people issues that I exploit and people issues that I implement as a result of that, that can be utilized irrespective of the scenario. You don’t must be going stay to be utilizing these little strategies.

Renata Bernarde (13:38)
I like that instance as a result of regardless that IT’s fully outdoors of the manager search and company office environments, you’re proper. They’re very comparable within the sense that you’re caught unawares at occasions if you find yourself in a gathering and folks abruptly flip to you and say, what do you consider this report? Or what do it’s a must to say in regards to the work that you simply’ve completed? And also you’re on the spot and there are 30 individuals taking a look at you or I don’t know what number of.

Ashleigh Paholek (13:44)
Hmm.

Renata Bernarde (14:05)
And in a job interview scenario, sure, you may be ready, however you by no means actually know what you’re going to ask. having these, the physique language and the tone and the tempo of the way you current actually does assist loads. IT helps you’re feeling extra snug, however I additionally assume you’re proper about serving to the viewers have belief in you. Proper?

Ashleigh Paholek (14:12)
Sure.

Mm. Mm.

Sure,

Renata Bernarde (14:34)
And I feel that this

Ashleigh Paholek (14:34)
sure.

Renata Bernarde (14:35)
is one thing actually essential. I offers you a few examples of issues that I see ⁓ and I would like you to present your professional opinion. Lots of people really feel like once they’re going for a job interview, they should communicate loads to share what they must say. Whereas ⁓ this is probably not the

Ashleigh Paholek (14:53)
Mm.

Renata Bernarde (15:02)
the most effective technique, proper? So in the event that they work on their tempo and work on their tone, that could be higher than talking an excessive amount of and answering questions and taking too lengthy to reply questions. What do you consider that?

Ashleigh Paholek (15:17)
Hmm.

I feel that IT’s actually essential that what we are saying is concise and IT actually hits as a result of anybody can yap, anybody can discuss. And that’s really fairly a nervous tendency to over discuss. And so when you’re capable of actually share what it’s a must to say in a manner that’s concise and hits, I feel that individuals actually respect that. utilizing silence, you understand, that’s such a

tough factor to truly use, IT could be very highly effective. And IT can be utilized in plenty of other ways to, you understand, get the opposite particular person considering. IT can be utilized as to focus on one thing that you simply’re saying, to maneuver on to a brand new subject, to kind of get the opposite particular person serious about what you’ve simply stated. And I feel that lots of people are nervous to make use of IT as a result of they really feel each millisecond of that silence and so they really feel like they must

maintain speaking over that as a result of that reveals that they’re unprepared. However whenever you comfortably sit in IT, I feel that that’s when IT’s actually highly effective. However I feel that lots of people are scared of creating errors. And one factor I forgot to say in that story is that I did make a mistake throughout these stay crosses. I fumbled over my phrases and I stated Rod Laver. no, I stated Lord Raver as a substitute of Rod Laver. However I feel

what makes somebody ⁓ assured is making errors, however then IT’s how you’ll be able to get well from these errors. Whether or not IT’s somebody who then fumbles round and says, sorry, ⁓ okay. After which they get mumbled and you’ll inform that they’re frazzled by that mistake and so they apologize for IT. After which IT takes over 10 extra seconds of their valuable time.

Renata Bernarde (16:53)
Yeah.

Ashleigh Paholek (17:08)
You’ll be able to inform that that particular person is admittedly uncomfortable and never very assured. Whereas when you can roll with that punch, you may maintain IT going and you’ll rebound actually shortly. Not solely does IT make you appear human, IT builds that fast reference to individuals. However I feel that individuals discover much more respect and builds credibility with what you’re saying since you are considering in your toes. And IT does present that you simply do know what you’re speaking about as a result of regardless that you’ve had a misstep.

You’re not specializing in that. You’re maintaining on going. And I feel that that’s actually essential ⁓ for individuals to understand that you would be able to make errors. And generally that may be extra highly effective than being good.

Renata Bernarde (17:52)
Really, one factor that I’ve observed is that you simply don’t make loads of errors and in addition that you simply don’t use loads of filler phrases. So once I’m interviewing individuals for this podcast and the listeners could not know this, however now we have an enhancing software program that removes all of the filler phrases or a few of the filler phrases simply so that each one the particularly my ums, I do loads of And IT’s as a result of I’m considering and.

Ashleigh Paholek (18:01)
Mm.

Renata Bernarde (18:21)
English is my second language. have a couple of excuses for that. You don’t have that. You don’t have filler phrases and also you don’t have ⁓ awkward silences as nicely. looks like you, IT makes us assume that you’re very nicely ready. Is there coaching for that?

Ashleigh Paholek (18:25)
Yeah, that’s your excuse.

For positive. ⁓ Look, I simply stated an then. I feel that I do make errors, however I don’t spotlight them. So that you’re not serious about them as a result of I’ve saved going and also you’re not, we’re not again on the mistake that I simply made as a result of we’re maintaining on going ahead. And I, as a substitute of claiming the phrase ⁓ or ⁓ I do say them, however so IT’s good that you simply don’t assume that I do, however I simply have a bit little bit of silence as a substitute. I’ve stopped myself from really saying IT.

Renata Bernarde (18:46)
Yeah?

Ashleigh Paholek (19:10)
However I feel that IT does shock individuals the quantity of technique that you would be able to have going into any sort of dialog or interplay. You may take a look at me on this dialog and be like, she’s only a conversationalist. She simply is so good and pure, however I’ve ready for this. I’ve acquired key factors that I wish to discuss. I’ve acquired other ways of illustrating my factors to ensure that they hit. I’ve are available very ready, however

The extra that you simply put together, the extra that you simply apply that preparation, the much less IT looks like I’ve preparation. And that’s the place you actually wish to get to, as a result of that signifies that you’re going to be coming throughout rather more casually, rather more private. You’re not going to sound robotic. And IT does come right down to the preparation behind the scenes. And I’m not going to lie, there’s loads that may go into IT. And the extra you apply IT, the better IT will get.

Renata Bernarde (20:06)
One other ⁓ query that I’ve usually had from feminine purchasers once they have ⁓ voices which might be very skinny or very female, they wish to work on their voices and that’s one thing that as a coach, I don’t have the experience to do. Have you ever ever encountered this? I feel there’s even a Hollywood film. IT’s not a really well-known film, however IT was a film a couple of girl in LA who was

Ashleigh Paholek (20:12)
Mm.

Renata Bernarde (20:35)
serving to girls with their tone. And I believed, ⁓ I would like to search out that film once more and watch IT once more.

Ashleigh Paholek (20:38)
Mm.

I’m not a film woman, so you would have referenced any film and I’d have simply nodded alongside as a result of I do not know. I barely watch motion pictures. So anyway, however sure, voice is so essential and IT’s fascinating as a result of I’ve a really robust reporter voice and IT’s one thing that I’ve needed to work on for 10 years. After I first began, IT was the bane of my existence. Individuals hated IT. I acquired a lot dangerous suggestions.

Renata Bernarde (20:49)
you

Ashleigh Paholek (21:11)
that I labored on IT relentlessly. And other people don’t understand, I assume, the work behind the scenes on ensuring that your voice ⁓ can work. However the factor is, you simply assume that your voice is who you’re. However IT’s once more, one thing that you would be able to apply and use. And there are other ways, you understand, when you say the identical factor in a deeper tone and slower, IT means one thing totally different.

Whereas if I say the identical factor with a bit of a better tone and a smile on my face, IT means one thing totally different once more. And the factor is that they’re all me, all of these variations, all of these totally different tones, all of these totally different vocal varieties, IT’s all me. And that’s really kind of a limiting perception when individuals say, I, can’t come throughout confidently as a result of my voice is simply, I’ve like a low voice or I’m simply shy or no matter IT is. That’s a limiting perception.

That’s not who I’m. I’m not somebody who speaks loudly. I can’t. You’ll be able to. And IT’s one thing that you would be able to work on and that you would be able to apply. IT simply feels uncomfortable as a result of IT’s unnatural to you at this stage. However the extra that you simply apply IT and the extra you understand that you would be able to simply play together with your voice, I feel that that’s actually highly effective. And simply because IT’s not a sure manner proper now, IT doesn’t imply that IT is.

Like, IT doesn’t imply that you would be able to’t get there.

Renata Bernarde (22:42)
Sure, I like all of what you stated and what you simply stated earlier than about talking with a smile or talking at a decrease tone and the distinction that IT makes. I don’t assume most individuals understand that they’re coming throughout in another way. And I say this as a result of in my viewers, that is the job looking podcast. Lots of people are presently unemployed and with out realizing IT, they’re going into interviews or having conversations with individuals.

Ashleigh Paholek (22:51)
Hmm.

Renata Bernarde (23:11)
with a tragic tone or an offended tone, proper? And I can inform that so visually for me, regardless that I see all of my purchasers through Zoom, once they begin working with me, their physique language is totally different from once they completed working with me, their voice, their vitality ranges, I can inform. And that additionally occurs in an interview scenario once they’re speaking. So in the event that they’re not getting via in an interview scenario,

Ashleigh Paholek (23:15)
Mmm. ⁓

Renata Bernarde (23:41)
I feel more often than not IT’s due to how they’re performing and speaking. So I like what you stated simply earlier than. And for that cause, I’d love so that you can give some workout routines that you simply swear by that perhaps individuals can do from dwelling and IT will assist them.

Ashleigh Paholek (23:46)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

I feel once we discuss these tiny tweaks, you understand, the physique language, the quantity, the vocal selection, IT isn’t tough. IT’s extra understanding what all the things means. And so the most effective train to start out with is taking a look at different individuals. Individuals watch. Take a look at somebody on the cafe. Have they got their legs crossed? Have they got their arms crossed?

Are their shoulders hunching over? Are they wanting down, avoiding eye contact, or are they wanting round? That’s, you understand, that’s ⁓ giving off vibes to different individuals. They’re unapproachable. They don’t look very assured. They don’t look very snug in a scenario. Whereas when you don’t have your legs crossed, if in case you have your shoulders huge, if in case you have your chin up, when you’re wanting round, that once more offers off a unique vibe. And so begin by taking a look.

at what different individuals round you appear like and what kind of vitality or vibe you’re getting from them. After which you can begin serious about that when it comes to your self. One other factor that I like is hand motion. When you may see my palms, the belief is there much more. IT’s a psychological trick the place you may construct belief faster in case your palms are displaying as a result of, you understand, I’m not hiding something. And so I’ve acquired my palms, if I do a slight flip, that’s how excessive they’re proper now.

on the zoom name, however that’s as a result of I do know the framing. And so I do know that that appears pure, however on the facet IT’s not. yeah, have a, have a take into consideration what, how different individuals round you, what their physique language is saying. After which even have a take into consideration what your physique language is saying as nicely. And I feel that that’s the simplest technique to begin as a result of when you perceive what vibes you’re giving off, physique language is definitely a two manner avenue.

Nonverbal communication is a two manner avenue. So not solely is IT giving off the vibes to different individuals, IT’s additionally solidifying in my very own mind, in my very own ideas, in my very own patterns, that that’s the vibe as nicely. So if I’m sitting there with my arms crossed, wanting down, avoiding eye contact, that’s giving unapproachable, IT is giving not very snug, not very positive of myself.

I’m feeling that very same inside proper now. My mind is saying she doesn’t really feel snug. This can be a safety mechanism and I don’t actually really feel like interacting with anybody. And so then that’s going to cycle via in my mind and that’s going to then imply that that’s how I work together with individuals. So IT’s a, IT’s a giant loop that’s ⁓ altering and influencing how individuals understand you and the way you understand your self. And when you understand your self as somebody who’s

Renata Bernarde (26:33)
Hmm.

Ashleigh Paholek (26:52)
shy, somebody who ⁓ doesn’t get success as somebody who isn’t good at public talking, you’re going to maintain discovering proof and methods to reiterate that to your individual mind as a result of we wish to be proper. IT’s known as affirmation bias. So that you wish to be proper. You’re going to maintain discovering proof to assist that after which IT’s going to maintain on occurring. And in order that’s the place IT can get actually harmful, however IT additionally signifies that IT’s straightforward to vary.

Renata Bernarde (27:15)
Yeah.

Ashleigh Paholek (27:20)
As a result of as soon as we perceive that and as soon as we perceive what our physique language and nonverbal communication is saying, we’re those that may change that. So IT’s really fairly highly effective.

Renata Bernarde (27:33)
Sure, I like all the things that you simply stated and even what you stated about and folks when you’re listening to this you may go on YouTube or on the job looking podcast web site to see Ashley and myself as a result of this can be a video format as nicely. ⁓ Sure, most of the interviews lately particularly the preliminary ones are completed through Zoom or Groups but when your physique language in Zoom or Groups

permits you to use your palms and present, you understand, your higher physique. And if in case you have that stance the place your toes is on the bottom and that may transpire within the dialog, IT will make you extra assured and so forth. So your setting and the way you exist in IT, all of that influences your presentation. One of many issues that I discovered just lately

Ashleigh Paholek (28:26)
Sure.

Renata Bernarde (28:30)
And IT made me actually nervous as a result of so a lot of my purchasers, particularly my feminine purchasers, when their roles are made redundant, they obtain a bundle. The very first thing that they do is I must replace my look, go purchase some garments. I must do some facials and dye my hair as a result of I’m going into job interviews. They usually go and so they get loads of botox. And since you understand.

Ashleigh Paholek (28:46)
Mm.

Actually?

Renata Bernarde (28:55)
Yeah, that’s very regular, very regular, if no more issues, you understand, however at the least ⁓ Botox. And there are a few fascinating, I really feel like Botox goes in a downhill trajectory as a result of there was some ⁓ analysis, which I’m, you understand, I’m not a health care provider, however, analysis that reveals that IT can migrate to your mind when you put an excessive amount of Botox in your brow. That’s a bit scary. ⁓

However what’s extra fascinating is a few analysis that’s popping out of the UK in regards to the slowing down of kids’s improvement as a result of the moms don’t have loads of facial expressions. And I’m like, wow, that is fascinating. So that you see all of those moms of their 30s placing Vodox of their faces and the kids, the explanation why infants stare at you is as a result of they’re studying cues from you. They’re studying.

Ashleigh Paholek (29:35)
Hmm. ⁓

Mm.

Renata Bernarde (29:50)
you understand, what’s stated and what’s pleased out of your facial features. when you, IT’s slowing down youngsters’s improvement as a result of so many moms are utilizing Botox. And the opposite factor that I believed was actually fascinating is that this space of analysis the place IT’s wanting, and we knew this years in the past. So when constructive psychology began, we knew that feelings occur on reverse. So if you’re feeling unhappy, however you

drive your self to smile and also you maintain that smile for a minute, IT will have an effect on your endorphins and IT will make you’re feeling higher. Proper. So IT’s a bizarre factor to do. Lots of people once they’re very depressed, they could put one thing like to carry their smile, like a ⁓ pencil or one thing to drive that smile as a result of IT’s so arduous to smile whenever you’re unhappy. ⁓

So issues can occur in reverse and what could also be occurring and is IT remains to be, you understand, if I discover the analysis, I promise I’ll put IT within the episode present notes. What they’re discovering is that IT’s decreasing leaders empathy in the event that they’re utilizing an excessive amount of Botox as a result of they haven’t any expression. So when individuals come to them with their issues, they can’t relate of their expressive methods with their facial features. So they don’t.

Ashleigh Paholek (30:59)
Mmm.

Renata Bernarde (31:11)
really feel empathy inside their brains as a result of they’re not showcasing IT. So what I’ve been telling my purchasers for the previous, I don’t know, six months is like, go straightforward on the Botox since you’re gonna be interviewed. All they’ll see through Zoom or Groups is your face. And when you’re not agreeing with them and displaying that, you understand, like I’m proper now making some faces right here to form of use my brains, I really naturally would not have loads of.

Ashleigh Paholek (31:15)
Mmm.

Renata Bernarde (31:40)
motion right here that’s genetic. Isn’t IT nice? IT’s my dad’s genes, my dad’s indigenous. Thanks, dad. So I don’t have loads of motion up there, however ⁓ yeah, IT’s essential for us to make use of the instruments now we have. And proper now, know, individuals previously up till the pandemic is to purchase a brand new enterprise go well with, you don’t even want a brand new enterprise go well with to go for a job interview lately.

Ashleigh Paholek (31:47)
Thanks, Dad.

Hmm. I, sure, I really haven’t purchased a brand new piece of clothes this 12 months. And that claims loads as a result of I’m going on digicam loads and I simply put on the identical issues. And so I really feel like there may be energy in not needing a full revamp, however I do perceive that you simply really feel that individuals really feel like they need a bit little bit of a zhuzh up as a result of you understand, they wish to change their vitality. They wish to ⁓ get a couple of tweaks to love really feel higher about.

Renata Bernarde (32:09)
as a result of IT can be through Zoom.

Ashleigh Paholek (32:38)
themselves. And so I really feel like that’s honest sufficient, however IT’s actually fascinating in regards to the Botox. And I feel that that could be very fascinating as a result of I do loads of expression in my brow. individuals wouldn’t see, until you’re watching us proper now, I’ve loads of nonverbal cues which might be displaying that I’m listening and that I’m as a result of that retains Renata talking with out me verbally interrupting her.

Renata Bernarde (32:50)
We do, yeah.

Ashleigh Paholek (33:08)
which is essential on one thing like this as a result of IT’s all in regards to the audio, however IT’s additionally essential in constructing connections actually shortly to make the opposite particular person really feel such as you perceive what they’re saying. And so the quantity of occasions that you simply nod, the pace of your nod, the going up in your brow, elevating your eyebrows, little bits of smiles, like these micro expressions really make such a distinction in constructing a very fast reference to somebody.

And that’s actually essential as a journalist as a result of I meet so many individuals each single day and I’ve to get them to belief me sufficient to go on digicam and communicate on digicam in a short time, very, in a short time. And so I do know all of those tiny little micro expressions and little physique actions that imply sure issues. And I understand how to then go round IT to try to make them really feel a sure manner. And in order that’s why

IT’s really very fascinating. I really feel like lots of people in TV get loads of Botox as a result of you understand, we clearly wish to look good. Our face is our moneymaker. However I do know that loads of us can’t get an excessive amount of since you want that expression. And so and IT’s that I discover that fascinating then yeah, serious about people who find themselves doing job interviews through zoom or on-line. That’s actually essential. Yeah.

Renata Bernarde (34:20)
Sure.

Yeah, and I really advocate, and when you’re listening, you understand, I feel that is such a terrific episode for you to consider the place to speculate, know, investing in listening to your ⁓ physique language, the best way you communicate, your tone of voice, listening to your viewers. ⁓ But when you understand that the majority of your interviews are going to be completed on-line, investing in a great microphone.

in Technology and having correct web and a great lighting. imply, your lighting is admittedly good. I don’t know what kind of mild you’re utilizing. ⁓ However these will not be very costly investments. Should you’re good, you are able to do these investments actually cheaply. ⁓ However they may repay in spades. What had been you saying about lighting?

Ashleigh Paholek (35:08)
Hmm. Hmm.

And lighting for me is… Sorry.

Lighting for me is so essential as a result of IT makes you’re feeling loads higher. Like if I’m in a darkish nook and I’ve acquired shadows all throughout my face, I really feel like I look ugly. And if I really feel like I look ugly, I’m not going to be giving my finest persona. I’m not going to be feeling snug in myself. Whereas I’ve acquired my pink blazer on, which I like. IT makes me really feel good. I’ve acquired good lighting from this manner and I’ve acquired a little bit of pure lighting from the entrance. And I really feel like that simply makes me like that’s my, I’m placing IT on now, you understand?

And IT’s understanding how and when to place IT on. And people little tweaks make such a distinction. And I feel listening to you say in regards to the issues that it is best to spend money on, positively understanding physique language, however, the nonverbal communication, but in addition understanding that you would be able to go in with technique. assume that that’s actually essential as nicely. You don’t must go in.

blindly, IT’s very straightforward to start out serious about the technique that you would be able to soak up. You already know that they’re going to ask a particular sort of query. And so let’s not use any, let’s not waste any of our time. Let’s give the opposite particular person as many alternatives to latch onto one thing of curiosity whenever you had been speaking. So if somebody, you understand, I do know as quickly as I meet somebody for the primary time, they’re to say, what do you do? And so I’ve acquired a pre-prepared

little pitch, able to go. That’s like my highlights reel. And so I say, you understand, I’m a TV journalist, however I’m additionally a confidence and communications coach. After which if that lights their eyes up, then I’ll begin speaking about that a bit bit extra. But when that doesn’t, I’m going and I like, you understand, empowering girls and speaking and actually serving to them develop of their careers. However I haven’t all the time been like this. A few years in the past, I really went touring for a complete 12 months. After which I begin speaking about touring and seeing what engages them.

So I don’t use lifeless house. I’m very aware of the phrases that I’m saying and maintaining somebody’s consideration as a result of I do know that individuals don’t have very lengthy consideration spans anymore. And so make IT very easy for the opposite particular person to interact and be thinking about what you’re speaking about by giving them, IT’s known as conversational threading, by giving them as many issues to latch onto as doable. And so that you don’t have to enter a job interview like,

with notes and notes, it is best to know already that they’re going to ask you a few totally different questions. So let’s take into consideration how finest to phrase IT, your reply or what key factors you wish to hit in your reply.

Renata Bernarde (37:47)
and

I like all that. That can be such a terrific content material for the viewers to consider. Ashley, thanks a lot. I don’t wish to take an excessive amount of of your time. I do know you’re busy. If individuals wish to attain out to you, I’ll have the hyperlinks under in order that they’ll discover you. However is there any ultimate messages you wish to go away the viewers with?

Ashleigh Paholek (38:12)
assume IT’s that confidence is one thing that you would be able to study, you may apply and you’ll grasp. But additionally confidence isn’t a vacation spot. You don’t simply get up sooner or later and also you’re like, ⁓ I’m assured and I’m right here and I’m going to be right here ceaselessly. Confidence is definitely one thing that it’s a must to work in the direction of each single day in each single second. And that how I do that’s I’m introduced with a scenario, a state of affairs, and I feel to myself, what would probably the most assured model of Ashley do?

say, assume on this scenario, after which I do IT. After which I say IT, then I feel IT, you understand. And the extra you do this, the extra, the better IT turns into. The much less resistance there’s going to be, you’re going to be altering your neural pathways to ensure that that may change into the preliminary response to a unique scenario. And that’s actually the way you’re going to construct confidence in the way you’re going to finally really feel such as you’ve acquired confidence, however IT is in these little tiny selections.

these little tiny expressions, these little tiny physique language, these little tiny methods that you would be able to herald. All of these are simply little selections. And the extra IT builds up, the extra assured you get.

Renata Bernarde (39:24)
Superior, thanks a lot for coming to the podcast.

Ashleigh Paholek (39:26)
Thanks.